It happened to me..

Did I say I was over being clumsy? I take it back. Yesterday at 11am, Matilda fell out of her sling. She wasn’t seated in it correctly and I somehow let her drop right out of it. She fell from waist high to the floor and hit her head on the hard wood floor. I can’t begin to express the horror and panic I felt at that moment. I picked her up and felt her head and it was misshapen to say the least. I cant recall who started screaming first, her or me.

We managed to get our shit together to call her pediatrician (damn automated phone system) who advised us to come in right away. We haphazardly tossed together her diaper bag, put her in her car seat and literally went running in the street to grab a cab. Within 15 minutes we were at the pediatrician’s office who saw us within minutes. The doctor thought her signs were good, no vomiting, loss of consciousness, her pupils were dilating, there was no liquid in her ears and the baby was calm (can’t say the same about mom). However, due to the size of the bump on her head, she recommended that we go to the emergency room for more tests.

A few minutes later, we were in another cab headed for Columbia Presbyterian Hospital’s pediatric emergency room, which is a few blocks from our house. We waited a hour or so for triage and then we were seen by a resident who thought Matilda was ok, but she wanted to get the opinion of the attending pediatrician. He ordered a CAT scan. A few hours later we had the CAT scan and the results were not good. Matilda had a small fracture in her skull. And the CAT scan also showed possible blood. At that point, poor Matilda was hooked up to various machines to monitor her breathing, heart rate, blood oxygen levels and blood pressure. Needless to say, I pretty much lost it at that point.

6 hours later, we repeated the CAT scan, but the results were the same. We were visited by a Nuerology resident who assured us that it was not blood and that Matilda was fine. However, the radiologist had a different opinion. We were advised to play it safe and we were admitted to the hosptial for overnight observation.

I just need to interrupt my own story to say that this is an amazing hospital. Columbia Presbyterian is #6 on the list of best hospitals in the country, and its the best in the city. They have a renowned Children’s Hospital with in the hospital. The pediatric ICU room the put us in was huge and beautiful with a view of the city, flat screen tv and pc with internet and free use of phone, a sofa bed for me to sleep on, a pantry with snacks and juice and an amazing staff. They even gave me a toothbrush and a breastpump to use. Seriously, if you have a sick kid, go there!

Pablo went home for the night and Matilda and I stayed in the ICU. She was really actually very peaceful and not even bothered by all that was going on around her. I spent most of the night alternating between standing next to her crib to make sure she was still breathing and curled up into a ball crying my eyes out with guilt that I could let something so horrible happen to my precious baby.

The next day, the attending pediatrician came by to see Matilda and he concurred with all the other doctors that she seemed fine. Surprisingly, he advised me that a skull fracture on a newborn requires no special care whatsoever. We can resume normal activity and she was given no medication or instructions other than to watch out for vomiting or loss of consciousness in the next 48 hours.

I was also visited by a social worker. I think that dropping your baby on her head is some sort of trigger for that kind of visit. I tried my hardest to act like a respectable woman and a good mom.

Eventually, the attending neurology surgeon reviewed the scan with the radiologist and decided that it was not blood at all and that we could all go home. We need to go back in 6 weeks to have her checked out by the neurologist, and I was assured over and over again that she would not have any lasting damage from the incident.

I am going to go crash now. I am still running on adrenaline and I am still in shock. I am so glad Matilda is ok and now that I see her in her own crib looking the same as the night before, I am beginning to forgive myself for the accident. Thanks to everyone who shared stories of other moms and babies who went through similar incidents (and turned out fine) and for not judging poor clumsy me.

In other news

I was in a fog for most of my pregnancy. I could not remember things like my own phone number or make any decisions. In addition to being stupid, I was also completely clumsy.

I am glad to report that my brain seems to be back to normal. I have also lost the 32 lbs I put on during my pregnancy. Mysteriously though, I cannot fit into any of my old clothes.

Please let me know if you have any proven remedy for stretch marks!

On our own now

Pablo’s parents left town on Tuesday last week and we were so sad to see them go! Even though it was tough to cram so many people into a small apartment, we had a fantastic time.

Now we are adjusting to taking care of the baby on our own. My first thought after I closed the door after saying goodbye was, Oh my God, I have to do this by myself!

The biggest challenge has been trying to feed her and ourselves. Most of our meals so far are things that can be eaten with one hand while holding the baby in the other.

The latest news with Matilda is that she is starting to be able to lift her head and push up on her arms. I hope to post a cute baby belly time video soon.

One Month Old!

Matilda is one month old today. So far, she isn’t much more responsive than she was when she was born. She still mostly just eats and sleeps. She is a lot more alert these days and now that she is a bit bigger (and the weather warmer) we can take her outside. So far, she has been to Times Square, Lincoln Center and this weekend, we are going to take her to SOHO. I can tell that Pablo and I will be taking lots of late night walks with her in the stroller when she refuses to sleep. She LOVES being pushed around in the stroller and also is a big fan of her baby bjorn.

St Matilda

We got many phone calls from Spain today wishing Matilda “Felicidades” because today is her saint day (also known as a “feast day” I think). Apparently, there is a calendar of saints and when the saint who shares your name comes up on the calendar, you celebrate!

I looked up St. Matilda, and for a saint, she seems pretty cool. St. Matilda was previously known as Matilda of Ringelheim, a German queen. As a young girl, she was sent to the convent of Herford, where her reputation for beauty and virtue is said to have attracted the attention of Duke Otto of Saxony, who betrothed her to his son, Henry. They were married in 909 and had three sons and two daughters. Her son Otto I became Holy Roman Emperor (who later betrayed her). As Queesn, she was preceded by Cunigunde of Swabia and succeeded by Edith of Wessex. (Edith was on our list of possible names, but Cunigunde??)

I am not sure if this is true ,but apparently St. Matilda is the patron saint of: death of children, disappointing children, falsely accused people, large families, people ridiculed for their piety, queens, second marriages and widows. For more fascinating things that saints are patrons of, check out this site. (Did you know there is a patron saint of TV? There is none for the internet however).

Happy St. Matilda day to all.

She’s Official

Last week Matilda’s birth certificate and social security card arrived. So she is officially a person!

I am actually having a hard to acknowledging this. Having a baby is still very unreal to me. I had a moment on Saturday where I realized that Matilda was an actual human who was going to grow up one day. It happened because we decided to take some photos and I took out a dress that was given to her as a gift.

I had this weird feeling that I had put a baby dress on a puppy or something. It was super cute, but it seemed inappropriate at the same time. Pablo thinks she just looks like a boy in a dress.

Carbon Copy… of Pablo!!!!!!!

Everyone has been saying that Matilda looks just like me. I had been proudly thinking that as well, until Pablo’s aunt Angelines sent us this photo of Pablo’s baptism. You can see that Pablo also had gigantic baby hands when he was a baby and Matilda’s hair is certainly inherited from him as well.
Click here to see my baby pic if you missed it.

PS the woman holding Pablo in the picture is Pablo’s aunt, and the man looking at him is his uncle.